You Need These Monday Motivations

funny /

Here it is, another Monday. It’s a new start, a fresh beginning, and, like a root canal, this thing’s happening no matter how much you scream. But hopefully, with a little bit of our #MondayMotivation, you can get your week going with a running start. First thing’s first, start your day off with a nice hot cup of coffee. It’s like cocaine but extremely legal.

The commute to work can be a real drag, so why not try out a new, rockin’ playlist? Or try listening to the audiobook version of that book that’s been gathering dust on your nightstand for literally an entire year. Or, better yet, just have an imaginary fight with your boss or significant other while driving.

Start off the workday with your easiest tasks first. This will boost your confidence and help you feel more productive. But be careful not to do these things too fast, you don’t want anyone else to find out your job is so easy a trained parakeet could do it if given the opportunity.

Parakeets are busy though.

It can be hard to keep up your energy level in the afternoon. The post-lunch drag is real and it is brutal. But this is why mother nature gave us sugar. Keep those productivity juices flowing by visiting your office’s vending machine for a jolt of fresh, all-natural high fructose corn syrup. Remember, if you’re feeling down, eat sugar until you feel like you’re going to die.

It’s finally time to address the number one productivity killer: social media. Yes, you use it to “keep up with friends” and “find out about current events.” If by “keep up with friends” you mean stalk your ex and “find out about current events” you mean making sure they’re doing worse than you. So if you want to up your productivity, try taking a social media break, and just trust your ex is doing way worse than you.