Twitter user Max Zavian witnessed what has to be, but somehow probably isn’t, the absolute worst parking job in the entire state of New Jersey:
Parking in NJ is dead ass a sport pic.twitter.com/z9E1SMmGMu
— Max Z (@max_zavian) April 16, 2019
What lead to this? No one knows. But anyone who’s spent time trying to park a car understands: this was inevitable. Parking lots are places where everyone’s sanity eventually breaks down. Spend enough time in one and even the strongest willed person will go certifiably insane. To prove this point, we’ve collected some of the worst and most insane parking jobs you can find by just casually scrolling through the internet. (Yes, this kind of parking is just that common.)
Hey so if you see a street curving around, just know that that is not a parking spot. Think of all the tour groups and day-trippers trapped on the buses you’ll likely prevent from passing. Also, consider how much you don’t want your car to be smashed by one of these buses.
Apparently in Romania, people parking cars follow the same rules as all house cats: If I fits, I sits! It makes sense, probably, if your sidewalks are big enough, to use the extra space. But it also means that for sidewalk-using pedestrians *nowhere is safe*.
There are several things wrong with this parking job. 1. The car is in a house. 2. The car is not in a parking spot. 3. The car is inside someone’s actual house. But if we want to go ahead and try to look on the bright side of things, let’s appreciate that at least the car appears to be *in park*, which should count for something, maybe?
Spotted this one next to work. They weren’t currently parked bad but I think that stickers been there a while. from r/badparking
The scars of a bad parking job can last days, months, maybe even years. This is why actions matter. Because, sure, you could just throw your car into park in the middle of that open area that in no way resembles a parking space. But think of the lasting shame this could bring upon your family name!
He parked in a crosswalk, then I saw him run up to his house and come out with a Capri-Sun. from r/badparking
It’s time to just come out and say it: sometimes even children can be jerks. But the difference is there’s still time to save them. This problematic child could one day grow up to be a completely considerate parker. The key is early intervention and education.
This is an extreme act of fairness we need to take a minute to acknowledge. We get it: your car is precious, and the fact that you have to take that car out into the world and use it for the main thing a car exists for is scary and awful. What if you get a dent in it!? Someone might judge you! Well, this is the only fair solution: take two spaces, but also, pay for two spaces.
The last thing every driver should do is try to mess with a bus. Bus drivers work long, hard hours, and they deal with the kinds of traffic nightmares that would destroy a lesser man. So if you do decide to challenge a bus’s dominance on the road, you must also understand that their vengeance will be swift and cruel.
Okay but also no. This is completely not at all what this sign means in any way, not even a little bit. However, there are two possibilities here: either this person is truly unaware that “green vehicle” means environmentally friendly, which is adorable. Or, they’re trolling in a truly, truly epic way.
You may think no one will notice your bad, evil, terrible, no good parking job that is actively ruining the days of people around you. But we live in the future, actually, and nothing is private anymore. We are watching you. Always.
I guess you could consider a cemetery a parking lot if you’re an extremely morbid person who places literally no value on anything. If that’s the case, then yes, you can park in a cemetery. Cemeteries: they’re just parking lots for the worst people who exist.
Oh, this counts. And it’s epic. This man has parked a moving vehicle on a moving train, and has done so in a way that clearly prevents others from board the train. His response? A shrug. It is at once both the best New York thing ever and the absolute worst most heinous New York thing ever.
He wins from r/badparking
It’s tough being different, especially if the thing that makes you different is that your car is actually a super long limousine. This might seem super cool at first: you can bring all your friends along everywhere you go! But in the end, you’re only playing yourself, as is evidenced here.
Honestly, it’s hard to decide how big a transgression this actually is. Maybe this person is just confused? I mean, they stopped! They are obeying the sign! Maybe they were waiting for the sign to change and decided to go get something inside because it was taking awhile.
This is a truly heinous transgression, but in the end the revenge is so, so sweet it’s almost worth it. Almost. For people who think “lines = parking”, that is not actually how lines work! Lines indicate a place you should actually not park, ever. And just because you drive a bike that can technically fit between these sideways lines does not mean you can park there.
Let’s not rush to conclusions here. Maybe this is just a super expensive new shopping cart the store is experimenting with using? Perhaps if you see a car parked like this, you should just try to take it? It looks like you could fit a lot of paper towels in there.
Got caught taking the picture. He told me i can take it anyway. He said you can do what you want when you drive a 90,000 dollar car. from r/badparking
Consider this driver’s logic for a moment: he made an objectively bad financial decision, and has decided to punish everyone around himself for it. Anyone who knows anything about money knows you don’t buy a car, let alone a new car, let alone a new car that costs $90,000. So while we understand while he might be upset that he’ll never, ever see that $90,000 again, that’s no reason to make everyone else’s life bad.
Perfection! from r/badparking
We’re willing to cut this one some slack, because frankly, we all get really excited about going to HomeGoods. Their deals are truly something, and so often the only acceptable speed to travel at when approaching HomeGoods is EXTREMELY FAST. We need goods! For our homes! So, this is fine because it’s clearly a HomeGoods emergency.
This is truly heart-breaking to see. After all, if our law officers don’t even obey our laws, what hope can there possibly be for everyone else? Who watches the Watchmen? No seriously we never saw that movie so we have no idea.
The person who took the time to include both genders in this post is far more considerate than the person who parked this car. Here’s a pro-tip that applies in basically every situation: If you see a sidewalk that is very narrow and leads to a helipad, don’t park on it.
It’s entirely possible there are whole groups of people who maybe just shouldn’t have access to parking lots. Think of the time it takes to lay all that cement, and then measure and paint all those lines. Just to have these drivers panic and scatter because maybe they’re afraid of shapes? You hate to see it.
Honestly, this is an extremely efficient use of space. Sure, you can’t get into the car on the bottom anymore. And that car on the top will probably have a lot of trouble coming down from what is essentially a pile of cars. But hey, this fits three cars into one space! Not bad!
This is what we call a domino effect. Or a waterfall. It’s when one person parks extremely bad, and it’s done in such a way that it forces every other single person to park equally bad. Either that or it’s opposite day wherever this is.
Apparently none of these people had the kind of parents growing up who were willing to say “if all your friends parked in a bad place, would you do the same thing?” But hey, maybe they’re a club of parking ticket enthusiasts who just love paying fines together? Like, maybe that’s their thing.
Oh my god. Like, wow. There are so many horrible things happening here at once. A person with a Porsche, hauling a trailer, shopping at Ikea, and taking up all the handicapped spaces? Actually, nevermind, this makes perfect sense. This person is insane.
At this point we just have to believe that some cars are just bonded pairs, or best friends, who want to be together forever. It’d be cruel to separate them. They need to spend the whole day cuddling mere inches from one another. That or all their drivers got raptured at the same time? There is no other explanation for this. At all.