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10 First Ladies Uglier Than Hillary Clinton

Laura Bush ain’t too bad. Either are McCain and Obama’s wives. But nobody wants to hear about the best looking first ladies. Here are the 10 worst. Enjoy.

10. Louisa Adams

Probably doesn’t help that you dress like those bird things from The Dark Crystal.

9. Barbara Bush

We’re surprised she would be this low. Grossest scenario: Barbara saying, “Read my lips. Those lips”.

8. Eleanor Roosevelt

Poor FDR was crippled and a lesbian wife. Wonderful person. Just not a looker. A licker, just not a looker.

7. Lucretia Garfield

Klingon forehead. And her name is fucking Lucretia.

6. Ellen Wilson

First wife of Woodrow Wilson. Wonky eye.

5. Martha Washington

Stick to sewing. You’re ghastly.

4. Margaret Taylor


3. Eliza Johnson

Looks like somebody shaved Abe Lincoln and gave her a Seattle Grunge cut.

2. Abigail Fillmore

Little House on the Prairie meets Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. No thank you.

1. William R. King

Our 15th President, James Buchanan never married. He did, however, live for 15 years with William R. King. We suspect hanky panky.

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