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10 Most Ridiculous XXX Reality TV Parodies

Everyone giggles a little when they learn it’s “hard times” for the porn industry, because that term reminds them of a boner (a porn staple). But really, all the free pornography people are enjoying on the internet means that the video industry is dying. To help combat that, the pornfessionals out there have turned to “XXX Parodies” of things people already watch. Good for them when it comes to inherently sexy things like The Brady Bunch and The Cosby Show, but not every television show is a good premise for banging. Here now are the The 10  Most Ridiculous XXX Reality TV Parodies.

10. Intervention

It’s a show about families torn apart by crippling addictions; so naturally, there are lots and lots of people who wish the show would add  some bare nips so they could really rub one out. This Ain’t Intervention XXX is only $37.99 on Blu-ray…the way it was MEANT to be seen.

“A Parody”

From the official description: Whether it is gambling, chronic masturbation or hoarding, these addicts are ready to kick the habit, the Hustler way!

Possible gay version: Analtervention

9. Top Chef

This “teaser” for the predictably named Top Heavy Chef is 8.5 minutes long? That is too long! (That’s what she DIDN’T said) I couldn’t stomach (pun INTENDED) watching the entire thing, but fast-forwarding through, it seems like almost nine minutes of sausage jokes.


From the YouTube description: “Very funny must-see with side splitting comedic take on the Reality TV cooking shows!”

Possible gay version: “Top” Chef

8. Jersey Shore

There are multiple porn parodies of MTV’s Jersey Shore, but since the show was about a bunch of walking overtan gonorrhea-peteri-dishes, and was almost porn anyways, I’m pretty sure all of these porn parodies were unnecessary. Probably the most unnecessary is Jersey Shore: A Black Parody. With a title like that, you can really tell the performers weren’t chosen for their sex skills or acting talent, but instead because they fit some crude black stereotype. We can do better, pornography industry.

The trailer had more F-bombs than Denis Leary getting attacked by wasps, so here’s a photo of Snooki instead. Try to imagine her having African heritage and having sex a lot.

Oh, Snooks

From the official description: Check out the Black Parody of Jersey Shore!

Possible gay version: Jersey Shore: A Black, Gay Parody

7. Dirty Jobs

Dirty Jobs is a show that explores and celebrates the men and women who do the hard, dangerous, and dirty work that keeps modern society going. CLASSIC PORNO SETUP.  Instead of any of thousands of obvious “____jobs” references, they decided to just call it This Ain’t Dirty Jobs XXX.

It's like this, only with SEX

From the official description: It’s a dirty job but they love to do it!

Possible gay nerd version: Dirty Steve Jobs

6. The Biggest Loser

Did real porn actresses lose weight? Do they have some chubbies at the beginning, then swap them out? Are the trainers offering real fitness tips, or is fitness just a pretense for these people to have sex? So many questions with this one.

I hope they have sex on a giant scale

From the official description: With strict diets, grueling exercise, and tyrannical trainers, these deprived ladies have developed an uncontrollable appetite for sex!

Possible gay version: The Girthiest Loser

5. Monday Night Football

(Not technically reality programming, but I’m allowing it on the list because I’m writing the list.) Football is popular. Sex is popular. I know you think that together, they will be double popular, but sometimes two awesome things cancel each other out- like being drunk and samurai swords.

Finally, someone pretending to be John Madden having sex

From the box: Includes 4 Group Sex Scenes!

Possible gay version: Tight Ends

4. The Soup

This Ain’t The Soup XXX is still in porn development (developoon-ment?) over at Hustler Studios, so there isn’t that much information on it yet. However, The Soup is a show where a man stands in front of a green screen and mocks clips of television shows, so how could that NOT be sexy?

Artist's Rendition

Possible gay version: Man Chowder

3. Celebrity Fit Club

This Ain’t Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp XXX drops the pretense of having overweight performers, and instead a drill sergeant tries to “fatten up” some skanky porn girls with a “workout routine” and “protein shakes” and “chicken.” No, seriously, in the trailer, the sergeant feeds one of the girls like a whole chicken. Sexy?

These girls are more famous that the celebs on the real show

From the official description: Hot Honeys Lose Their Pants & Get Into Shape With A Regiment Of Steady, Hard Action!

Possible gay version: Celebrity Can It Fit? Club

2. Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Some people have a thing for the Kardashian sisters, which is perfectly understandable (except Khloé). However, the most famous of the Kardashians, Kim, already has a sex tape available. If you are into Kim Kardashian having sex, you can actually see Kim Kardashian, having sex. Who then is buying Keeping It Up For The Kard-Ass-Ians? People who are turned on by the reality show format, or just bad-pun fetishists?

"Kard-Ass-Ians"...get it? GET IT?

From the official description: Their name, infamous. Their lifestyle, privileged. Their M.O., to be the biggest sluts possible.

Possible gay version: Keeping It Up For Brody Jenner

1. To Catch a Predator

You know what’s wrong with this idea? EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH THIS IDEA. Your idea privileges are now REVOKED. “It’s a show about trapping creepy older man out to have sex with children, but with a little tweaking, this would be GREAT pornography!” I know your job often involves filming people putting things in butts, but have some class, guys.

It’s called Official To Catch a Predator Parody, like there’s a low class “unofficial” version out there sullying it’s good name. The twist is that some female “MILFs” (male MILFS are a rarity) are out for some “barely legal” young studs. The other twist is this is a horrible, horrible idea, possibly the worst idea in pornography, which is saying A LOT.

Why don't you have a seat over there?

From the official description: “If you’ve ever seen the television show, have a hankering for hardcore sex, or like to watch the sexiest nastiest MILFS….”

Possible gay version: No video, simply jail time.

This post was written by Brendan, who is waiting for a sex version of  “Fear Factor.” Check out his infrequently updated Tumblr and YouTube page.

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