Our ListMaster Mike Bridenstine has conquered Laverne and Shirley, Night Court and Cheers. Now he’ll try his hand at movies. And since the holidays are upon us, it’s time for ‘Recasting the ’80’s: Trading Places’. Enjoy.
Billy Ray Valentine
The street hustler who is turned into a corporate exec. Our choice: Tracy Morgan. Eddie Murphy was only 22 (almost half Morgan’s 40) when this was made, but his age isn’t really important in the movie. The important this that Morgan would be hilarious.
Louis Winthorpe III
Dan Akroyd was 31 in 1983. He’s a smarmy dickbag but not likable enough to hold our sympathy and come back as victor in the end. Our choice: Jason Sudeikis. He’s 33, and has the SNL cred. And his Joe Biden sold us on his smarmy dickbag-ness.
Randolph and Mortimer
If Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche hadn’t died in the early ’90’s, they’d probably still be perfect for the roles. Both actors were in their seventies (79 and 75, respectively) when the movie was shot. Our choices: Donald Sutherland and Rip Torn. Both are in their 70s and can play similar types of rich guys. And since we can’t have those old Muppets play them, those guys are the next best choices.
Coleman
The original movie must be cursed, because Denholm Elliott is dead as well. But in 1983 he was 61 and British. You know who’d actually be great? Our choice: Alan Rickman. He’s 62 and British. And he rolls his eyes with the best of them. We’d want Hans Gruber as our butler any day.
Ophelia
Jamie Lee Curtis was only 25 when the movie came out. Who is young, with acting chops to play a hooker, but not necessarily a hermaph? Our choice: Rachel McAdams. She’s 30, but still somehow looks much younger than Jamie Lee Curtis did at 25.
So… how did we do? Let us know. Again, you would totally watch this.
