Remember when the Web 2.0 was supposed to empower everybody to make amazing do-it-yourself videos to get Internet fame and fortune? Remember when the Time Person of the Year was You? Well, shit’s changed. First, Avril Lavigne took over the #1 YouTube spot from that evolution of the dance guy. Then even the comedy videos had all your favorite movie stars. It doesn’t help that MTV ended TRL this year and made sure to never play music videos ever again, but isn’t it weird that all 10 videos on the most-viewed list on YouTube are music videos? What happened? It’s especially weird considering only three of these songs went to #1 on the Billboard charts. No wonder record sales are down. Teenage kids are just playing the songs they like over and over again Online. We’ll give you the Top 10 Comedy videos later. For now, here are the top 10 most-viewed YouTube videos of 2008. Enjoy.
10. The Pussycat Dolls – When I Grow Up
28 million views.
Embed disabled. We don’t get it. Is this like, a safe jack-off video for middle school boys? Because it’s just a bunch of skanks moan-singing on the hoods of cars. We totally want to buy stock in these ladies. But that’d be like buying stock in the too-old-to-strip massage broads at titty bars. So jack it while you can, seventh graders. There’s an expiration date on Camel Toe Menudo.
9. Leona Lewis – Better In Time
30 million views.
Embedding disabled. Wasn’t Leona Lewis that dude who sang “Supermodel (You Better Work)”? Well, that guy hasn’t aged well.
8. Usher featuring Young Jeezy – Love In This Club
31 million views.
Embedding disabled. But it’s Usher and a bunch of fancy lights. That’s about it. Oh yeah, and that terrible rap guy with the gravely voice. Yuck. Don’t make love in that club, Usher. You’re going to get Space Gonorrhea. How long before Usher starts touching kids?
7. Jonas Brothers: When You Look Me In The Eyes – Official (HQ)
31 million views.
What would Hansen be like if they were more Jew-y? This is like their own personal “Only God Knows Why” video. Except way more terrible. This isn’t there only video on the list, so we have more Jonas insults later.
6. T.I. – Whatever You Like
34 million views.
Complete with a pre-song skit about T.I. picking up fast-food employees, this non-cliche rap video features jewelry, cars and pools. And even a Goodfellas reference. Wait. Is anybody even trying anymore? And why would they?
5. Rihanna – Take A Bow
36 million views.
She’s that ella ella ella chick, right? Embedding disabled. She’s got to be the world’s hottest chick that also kind of looks like an evil lizard person. We’d hit it. 36 million times.
4. Chris Brown – Forever
38 million views
And embedding is fucking disabled. How big is Chris Breazy? So big that he can do an Auto-Tune song about Double Mint gum and have 38 million people watch it. No wonder he gets to bang that “ella ella ella” chick. We’re jealous.
3. Official Jason Mraz – I’m Yours video
39 million views
Jason Muh-razz gets his Jack Johnson on. How many times when he wrote the lyrics did he have to cross off where he wanted to say “Bubbly toes”? We have a real hard time believing anybody thinks Jason Meh-rahs is cool. But at least he’s not one of the following people…
2. Jonas Brothers – Burnin’ Up – Official Music Video (HQ)
48 million views
We think we know what demographic watches the most YouTube videos. This is at the Mondrian in Hollywood. Hey! We’ve totally been there. And it kinda sucks. And what’s with the 80’s Miami Vice parody? You’re telling us that any of the Jonas Brothers’ fans would get that reference? They’d barely get the “Sabotage” parody reference it rips off more. Jesus. And their voices sound like air being let out of a balloon. Good job, teenage girls. You like terrible shit.
1. Miley Cyrus – 7 Things – Official Music Video (HQ)
50 million views
This is the #1 video of the year, everybody. Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if Avril Lavigne had a country singer voice instead of sounding like a Canadian vampire? This is it. What a letdown.
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