Here at Comedy.com, we like pro wrestling. But what we really like is poking fun at it. A little while ago, we gave you the 13 worst pro-wrestling gimmicks ever. Now, let’s take a look at actual wrestling moves. Here are the top 20 wrestling moves that sound like sex acts. Enjoy.
20. Pumphandle Drop
This is when a lady gives up on your handjob due to exhaustion.
19. Alley Oop
An alley oop happens when you get semen on your clothes after having sex with a prostitute in an alley on your lunch break, but still have to go back to work.
This is when you poke your lady in the back with your morning boner, in hopes that she’ll “get the message”.
17. Rocket Launcher
This “finishing move” requires that your purposely not ejaculate for a week before getting a beej from your lady.
16. Japanese arm drag
This is when a pervert Japanese businessman dresses his arm up in women’s garments and pays you to do whatever pervert Japanese businessmen are into. It’s probably like “the stranger”, but way creepier.
15. Double flapjack
Having sex with two women who have never worn bras in their lives.
14. Mountain Bomb
You have to yell this before you cum on your ladies’ tits.
13. Irish whip
Smacking somebody with a super small weiner.
12. Camel clutch
At least two fingers inserted into a vagina.
11. Mushroom stomp
When you give a mushroom stamp to a girl with a British accent.
10. Front chancery
Having vaginal sex with a stranger without a condom
This is when you have sex with a dead person. And then murder a child by accident.
8. Alabama slam
This is when you have revenge sex with your cousin.
This is when you masturbate in an elementary school bathroom stall.
6. Shining Wizard
When an old man uses lotion to masturbate.
5. Sleeper slam
When a man tries to have quick sex with his wife before she wakes up.
4. Half nelson slam
Having sex while you’re not erect.
Bukkaki, but not straight on.
2. Tonga death grip
When a foreign exchange student gives you the worst handjob ever.
1. One-handed bulldog
When a kid with Downs syndrome jacks off in his back yard.