Dear McCain camp,
When are you going to learn? No one wants you using their music to promote your ideas. Not Bon Jovi, not Heart, not anyone.
You stand for everything most artists and musicians disagree with, so put down the rock album you wouldn’t let your kids listen to when it was popular. You don’t get to play it now because it happens to serve your purpose. Unless you want to hear Toby Keith at your next fundraiser, you don’t get to play music.
It’s not my fault Jon Voigt didn’t make records. Perhaps he’ll let you play the Deliverance theme at your rallies. Just stay away from my precious Foo Fighters and Jackson Browne. They’re not going down without a fight.
I’m anxiously awaiting McCain’s next birthday. Bristol Palin and McCain’s slutty blonde daughter will be carrying the cake adorned with 70 billion candles singing, “Happy Birthday,” only to be sued the following day by whoever owns the copyrights to the “Happy Birthday” song.
Steer clear of music, Republicans. It’s for Democrats, black people, and everyone else with taste.
Shannon Hatch is a Comedy.com guest columnist who was last seen buddying up to porn stars on the red carpet of the Pirates 2 movie premiere.
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