It’s come to our attention that Sarah Palin can’t name any other Supreme Court case, except for Roe v. Wade. So we decided to help her. Here are 8 other Supreme Court Cases Sarah Palin Should Know About. Besides Roe v. Wade
1. Martin v. Hunter’s Lessee
This bad boy took place in 1816 (when there were still werewolves) and was the case that asserted Supreme Court authority over state courts in matters of federal law. It kind of has to do with the shit Palin was blabbing gibberish about, but what does she care?
2. Dred Scott v. Sandford
This would be a good one to oppose. It said slaves and their descendants could never be U.S. citizens. It also said Congress couldn’t prohibit slavery, said that slaves could not sue in court. They kind of fought a war and made some Amendments that changed this one.
3. Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka
This one is kinda famous. It has to do with racial segregation, which probably isn’t much of a problem in Alaska. If Sarah Palin said she opposed “Plessy v. Ferguson” (separate but equal), it would have at least been something.
4. Griswold v. Connecticut.
Back in the ’60’s, Connecticut prohibited contraceptives. But the Supreme Court ruled that the law violated the right to marital privacy. I’m guessing Governor Palin hates this case too, considering she and Todd (as well as their daughter) are human baby factories. And Todd hates condoms because he can’t “feel anything, Babe”.
5. Engel v. Vitale
Another one Sarah Palin should hate. This one outlawed required school prayer in public schools. Ditto for…
6. Abington Township School District v. Schempp
It outlawed Bible readings in public schools. The Bible is totally like, Palin’s shit, dogg.
7. Bush v. Gore
How ’bout this one? She’d probably love this one if she knew anything about the Supreme Court. It kinda allowed Bush to win Florida and the 2000 Presidential election. And she totally reminds some people as a dumber lady version of W.
8. Lawrence v. Texas
This one makes it okay to have gay butt sex. And to give blowies and whatever else homos do. It makes it okay for heterosexuals to have blow jays and anal as well. They sited privacy as the reason for this law. But we think the Supreme Court totally likes to party.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster pleads the 5th.
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