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John McCain picked his VP. And it’s this MILFy broad from Alaska. People want to know about her. Well, here are 9 surprising facts about Sarah Palin, John McCain’s Choice for Vice President.
1. She’s Not Tina Fey.
Yes, they look alike. But Sarah Palin isn’t as talented. She’s not on “30 Rock” but she is about 30 years younger than John McCain.
2. Her kid’s names are Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper & Trig. Trig has Downs.
She shouldn’t have named her kids any of those things. Aren’t those names all street slang for heroin?
3. She lost as Miss Alaska in 1984.
They told her she didn’t look dumb enough in this picture. Did the girl who won have a better librarian wig?
4. She played point guard on her state champion basketball team. Her nickname was “Sarah Barracuda”.
Because, after the games, her crotch smelled like a large fish.
5. She was briefly a sports reporter in Anchorage.
At one point she wanted to be on ESPN, but quit when she realized she’d have to move out of Alaska. Does she know Washington D.C. isn’t in Alaska?
6. She calls her husband, the “First Dude”. He’s won a bunch of snowmobile races.
He’s also part Eskimo. He has 200 words for ’snow’ and 400 words for ’sexy librarian’.
7. Her favorite meal is moose stew.
Coincidentally, that’s her husband’s nickname for her vagina. What’s her second favorite – “Dan Quayle”?
8. She wears fur.
That’s gonna piss off the hippies! It’s going to give us another fantasy about her.
9. She’s a Gimmick.
Really? John McCain is pandering to women? No way! We don’t believe it! I mean she has 20 months of gubernatorial experience! That’s enough, right? Right? Awww, shit.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He’d hit that shit.
