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Have you ever heard of Judson Laipply? No? What if I call him “The Evolution of the Dance Guy?”
Now you’ve got it. Until recently, Judson Laipply had the most-watched video in the history of YouTube. He has 93.4 million views. The video is kind of lame, but that’s not important. People loved him. I didn’t, but people did.
People sent his clip all around their offices. He made people happy. And he was an unknown – some motivational speaker or something from Ohio. He was pretty much the embodiment of the democratization of the Internet and Web 2.0 and the changing dynamic of entertainment. YouTube is one of the biggest sites on the Internet. Google bought it for a billion dollars. But Judson Laipply was King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Until recently.
Last week, Judson Laipply was dethroned as YouTube Champion by Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne isn’t one of us. She’s a pop star. She has six #1 hit songs and lots of money and she spells words wrong like “Sk8er” and “Boi.” And she has crazy vampire teeth.
Avril’s video that over took “Evolution of the Dance” (with 93.5 million views) was for her song “Girlfriend.” It’s not even that good of a video. There’s nothing special about it. And the song is catchy, but it still sounds vaguely like a snaggle-toothed Canadian vampire ripping off Toni Basil’s “Mickey.” While using a vocoder. And her fans cheated to get the video that many views. Fake video views, autoplays, all that shit. And for what?
Good job, Avril Lavigne. You now have the most watched video on YouTube. You had to cheat to take down Judson Laiply, the motivational speaker from Ohio. With another one of your teen-pop-pretending-to-be-punk high school anthems about boyfriends.
Attention Judson Laipply: Please do another “Evolution of the Dance” video, but update it with Avril’s shitfuck song. You could put in crazy vampire teeth and pretend to be a Wal-Mart punk rocker while you swim in piles of Canadian shame money.
I hate Avril Lavigne.
Mike Bridenstine is a stand-up comedian based out of Los Angeles. He is a member of Blerds.com and quite possibly the funniest person of all time. You can contact him at Myspace.com/MikeBridenstine and read his column here every Wednesday.
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