The WNBA just had a scuffle. That one NASCAR chick got into it with that other NASCAR chick. And that Omarosa broad from that one show got into it with Wendy Williams on her talk show. Well, here are girl fights we’d actually like to see.
Miley Cyrus vs. Dakota Fanning
Dakota vs. Montana. They both have dumb names. Why not? Finishing move: Dakota chokes out Billy Ray’s dumb daughter with a training bra. You get a halfy.
Madonna vs. Mrs. A-Rod.
Get out of the tabloids and into the ring! Look at Cynthia Rodriguez. She’s already doing the Stone Cold Stunner correctly. Madonna is jacked, but if she tries to hit Cynthia anywhere except the tits, she’ll break her hand. Hell hath no fury… Mrs. A-Rod would win via roundhouse.
Marisa Miller vs. Megan Fox
Because we like to get boners.
Tyra Banks vs. Leila Ali
Maybe we just want to see Tyra get punched in the head for a couple minutes. Is that so wrong?
Oprah Winfrey vs. Hillary Clinton
Two of America’s aristocracy square off in a fancy scuffle. Until Hillary takes those bags of meat Oprah brought out to show how much weight she’d lost and starts whaling on her with them.
Heidi Montag vs. Tila Tequila
Reality TV’s most hated retards should square off in a real battle. They both seem like biters, so this one would get ugly. The spread favors Tila because of Vietnamese trickery.
The Abu Ghraib Chick vs. Ashley Dupree
Who doesn’t love a political scandal? Especially when one has to do with a prosti and a Congressman and the other has to do with an obvious lesbian who looks like a middle school boy putting Iraqis into weird sex pyramids. You’d think the military lesbian would be tougher, but I’ve seen enough hooker documentaries to know that Dupree can probably scrap. Lynndie England would be disqualified for trying to purchase sex from her, repeatedly.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.
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