Some dickbag from South Carolina had a picture on his website that said, “The Difference Between Obama and Osama is Just a Little B.S.” Get it. Because their names aren’t the same, but they rhyme. You can watch an old “Cheers” episode where Woody Boyd proves he’s dumb because he thinks he’s related to Woody Allen. You know, because you’re not related if you have the same first name. But now people are trying to get us to believe Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama are related or something because Osama’s first name and Barack’s last name SOUND alike. Even an obviously-dumb sitcom character would know that’s stupid. So, just to help, here are some other words that sound like Obama, besides Osama.
6. Pajamas
Oh no! If Obama is elected, he’ll show up everywhere in pajamas! You know, because his last name sounds like ‘pajamas’. He won’t answer the phone at 3am because he’s sleeping… in pajamas. Look the fuck out!
5. Dalai Lama
Oh no! Obama is secretly the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people! That won’t be good when we deal with China! You know, because they fucking rhyme!
4. Alabama
Look out! Forward this around to everyone in your church! Obama kind of sounds like the name of the worst state in our country! He might be illiterate with no teeth and married to his sister! Actually, Republicans might actually prefer that.
3. Bahama
Nooooooo! Where is this country going to go if Obama is secretly a bunch of beautiful islands? He’ll surely just lie on a beach all day and the fucking Beach Boys will sing about him. He has to be stopped! Again, they rhyme! It’s obviously a secret link.
2. Obi-Wan Kenobi
They don’t even sound that much alike, but Obama isn’t going to fool me! I know he’s in that Jedi church and he probably has lightsabers and robes and shit. Plus, he’s a fictitious character from a movie. Nobody should vote for him. He’s not even a real person.
1. Drama
Do not vote for Obama. His name rhymes with the worst genre in entertainment. The thing Mary J. Blige wants no more of.
You get the point. This is ridiculous.
Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.
