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12 Celebrities Who Look Like They Take the Biggest Craps

Tuesday July 8, 2008 6:01 PM

I think this one is kind of self-explanatory. But all of the following people have a quality that leads me to believe they take gigantic dumps.

 

12. John Goodman

 

 

He looks like he could crap out a dump truck full of Arby’s beef & cheddars.

 


11. Rosie O’Donnell

 

 

The only thing she loves more than Broadway is her trusty plunger. You know, for her meatloaf-sized bricks of poop.

 

10. Jeff Garlin

 

 

I bet he probably spends most of his day planning for, and recovering from some shit he’s about to take or just took.

 

9. Shaq

 

 

It’d be kind of disappointing if he didn’t take ridiculous dumps.

 

8. James Gandolfini

 

 

Once ordered a hit on his basement toilet.

 

7. Uncle Phil

 

 

Powerful, powerful dumper.

 

6. John Daly

 

 

If crappin’ was a pro sport, he’d be in the Turd Hall of Fame.

 

5. Al Pacino

 

 

Whooooooooaaaaaaahhh!

 

4. Phylicia Rahad

 

 

Cosby’s. Pool. But seriously, I bet she takes strong Nubian power craps.

 

3. Horatio Sanz

 

 

He strikes me as a hearty shitter, who giggles uncontrollably at the sounds he’s making. Then he calls Jimmy Fallon to let him listen.

 

2. Elton John

 

 

No, not because he’s gay. Or because his name is synonymous with ‘Gay Bathroom’. But that doesn’t hurt. I just think he probably belts out logs like he belts out tunes.

 

1. That Infomercial Guy.

 

 

Kaboom is right. Billy Mays looks like he takes loud, violent, epic shits.

 

 

The Comedy.com ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine.

 

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