Summer is heating up and you know what that means – it’s time to gear up for the latest creations from the “minds” of Hollywood’s greatest reality TV producers. There’s a lot to choose from this year, so we figured we’d help you sort through the mess by giving you this list of the 10 REALITY TV SHOWS TO AVOID THIS SUMMER.
10. Are You Taller Than A 5th Grader?
We found short people. We also found 5th graders. It’s crazy.
9. Fast Animals, Slow Cripples.
Cripples are slow. Animals are fast. Darwin is rolling in his grave… from LAUGHTER!
8. Dutch-Ovened by David Duchovny.
Duchovny had Taco Bell last night, ladies. Something IS out there. And it’s his awful farts.
7. Seriously, Are You Fucking Retarded?
The game show that makes you feel smart… unless you’re fucking retarded.
6. Kim Kardashian Has a Big Ass and a Sex Tape.
Can your resist the ass? No. Just watch it. We show her ass.
5. Kids with Turrets Say the Darndest Things!
They have the most hilarious disease ever, fuck face.
4. Dancing with SARS
Remember that disease from Canada from 2003? Well it was bigger than the washed up people that are usually on reality shows. Did we mention sequined surgical masks?
3. The Real Black Guy of Orange County
Seriously, he exists. And he’s wacky.
2. The Naked & Masturbating Chef
Are you hungry for choked chicken with a side of man ranch? Yes? Tune in! Because our chef is jacking it.
1. The Real Third World
We put a bunch of savages in a hut and tape it. It’s good.
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