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The Onion Reports - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Makes Virtual War As Boring As Real War

The French Open Sucks…And Other Things We Learned From Today’s Newest New News

Tuesday June 3, 2008 1:02 PM

In today’s Newest New News sports report, we learn what ultimate fighting has in common with The View, how Los Angeles is preparing for the NBA Finals, and why the French Open sucks.

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