First of all, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year knowing that this is okay and that you will be receptive to my greeting. However, I’m sure you’ve heard others wish you a “Happy New Year” more than necessary and unfortunately, it will continue for days to come. But please remember that there are rules governing this greeting and you only have until midnight January 9th to utter these words…or you will be more annoying than Rachel Ray.
I also want to wish you success with your New Year’s resolutions. This year, I’ve decided not to care as much, not to work that hard and not to take life so seriously. In fact, it’s our motto here at Comedy.com.
I also decided to do my part for the strike in Hollywood over the holidays and act as if I had to bulk up for my film role and gain 15 pounds….or so it seemed. I actually put butter on my butter.
And although I won’t do it for away games, I’ve decided to pee sitting down for home games. You laugh now but there’s really no reason not to…and the benefits far outweigh the negatives. First, the laughter if discovered is gutteral and pure. Let me also add that you don’t forget to put the seat down because it’s always down. How about the problems in the mornings? Shall I go on? No of course not, it’s a no brainer… but for some reason, we think it’s less manly. Well I’m here as an official representative to pass Comedy.com’s Right #1 which allows men to pee sitting down. To nominate another Comedy.com Right, or Wrong, please email feedback@comedy.com.
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